Standing is a gift...

    I am currently in the process of figuring out life and how I can actually live it with POTS. One of the things I am trying to implement into my life is a steady job. My biggest frustration is that I can only apply to jobs that don't require constant standing and even the jobs where I could possibly sit won't want me once they find out that I'm broken. I don't fully understand POTS so how am I supposed to explain that to an employer and then be confident enough to where they decide to give me the job? I feel like I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this place where I'm not sick enough not to work or be in a wheelchair but I am sick enough that standing and sometimes just life in general is an issue for me. All you POTS patients know exactly what I'm talking about and for those of you who don't I have some very simple advice; Standing is a gift. DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED! And when you think about complaining that your feet hurt because you've been standing at work all day remember that there are people who worry more about their consciousness while standing then the condition of their feet. I'm not trying to be harsh just honest. Remember how blessed you are, even if you do have POTS you are still blessed.
    Thank you all for your emails and comments. I love hearing from you and I am so thankful that I have been able to encourage some of you in a small way but I have to set something straight. I am not strong in this and my attitude is not admirable. I have spent so many years trying to convince myself and others that POTS hasn't really effected me that I started to actually believe that I was okay. Even today while looking for jobs, thinking about future plans, and regrets I would forget about POTS all-together. It's like I subconsciously block it out entirely and once the memory comes back I am shattered once again. I have had very dark days in the past few years, even in the past few weeks. Usually it all comes in waves but for the past few months the darkness of POTS has been constant. I believe that I am either in danger of becoming depressed or I already am. There have been a lot of changes this year in my life and I know there are many more to come. I don't say any of this to get sympathy I just want to be completely honest about where I am. I am hoping that my mother will not read this post because I would hate for her to know how I am really doing but I feel that I am being dishonest if I don't say how I really feel. I pray so often that I could just quite POTS and it kills me that quiting is not an option.
    POTS is a constant cycle of new treatment that doesn't work along with test after test that come up empty, and the worse part is that there is no option to opt out...you're in it for life.