It has been quite a while. Well, for starters I had an amazing weekend in Vestaburg with my life-long friend Abby. It was good to get away and spend time with her. I have felt pretty good the last week except for when I decide to actually do something. Then without fail I load up on my Zofran (nausea medicine). I was quite busy this last labor day weekend and it always surprises me how fast my energy depletes. I can literally wake up, get ready, go out for about an hour and I feel like it's 11pm and time for bed. I need to work at being more active which should be a little easier now that it's getting colder out. Heat can completely destroy my day.
I completed my first week of school. It went pretty good. This week got off to a late start with labor day and then being gone on Tuesday. Today didn't really happen either...I did school work for about an hour and then I was completely exhausted so I slept for another 3 1/2 hours...yeah, not good. I have not been motivated at all and I do not possess the gift of making myself do school work when I feel sick. I need to work on that.
I have been reading through Isaiah and the other day I came to chapter 66. When I get upset I'm very good at expressing to God exactly how I feel about the situation, what I think He should do to fix it, and how messed up my life is. Don't get me wrong it's great to talk to God especially when you're frustrated but the problem is that I usually stop there. I complain, cry my heart out and then eventually fall asleep. I rarely look for the answers to the questions I just poured out at God from my heart and even when I do I rarely pay attention. So, this one particular day everything was just getting to me and I was hoping that a friend would call me. (that's one of my other problems, I always think that talking to someone will make me feel better and fix everything and you know what? It never does but I always keep trying) Anyway, this particular night I realized that no one was going to call me and I didn't need to call and talk to anyone. I needed my God. So I opened my Bible to where I last left off and I began to read Isaiah 66.
Verse 7-9 "Before she goes into labor, she gives birth; before the pains come upon her, she delivers a son. Who has ever heard of such a thing? who has ever seen such a thing? Can a country be born in a day or a nation be brought forth in a moment? Yet no sooner is Zion in labor than she gives birth to her children. 'Do I bring to the moment of birth and not give delivery?' says the Lord. 'Do I close up the womb when I bring to delivery?' says your God.
What a perfect picture. Especially being a girl I have thought many times of being pregnant and labor pains and as much as it scares me to be in that much pain I know that the pain will only last for a little while and then I will have a beautiful baby. So why is my life any different than that? God never lets us think that our lives are going to be perfect and easy. He tells us we will suffer and have trials. But He also tells us in Isaiah 66:9 that He does not bring us through pain and suffering for no reason. He will always deliver. My God always delivers. It's hard to see that now midst the pain without an epidural while life is seemingly falling apart but I will constantly remind myself that my God delivers.
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